“NAGMAHAL. NASAKTAN. NAGHINTAY.”
In this day and age, the era of what we call the “millenials,” most of us get easily hooked on Korean dramas and movie plots that revolve around love, romance and happily-ever-after’s. Why? Because it is our innate desire to love and be loved. Not plainly because we’re all hopeless romantics but because deep within our soul, we have this longing for being wanted and pursued. That is how God wired us to be. Ever heard of the line that when we were born, we all have this vacuum inside our hearts which we tend to fill with people, things, accomplishments, even addictions only for us to realize that it was God-shaped. Thus, no matter how we try to fill it up with what the world could offer, only Jesus could fill that void and satisfy our soul. And you already know what happens next, we wait on God.
But you see, in the midst of our life’s greatest pursuit, most of us (not that I am exempted, I am actually preaching to myself, too) say that we are waiting on God, that we want more of Him, that our eyes are fixed on Jesus, that we seek Him first, that we are after His heart but in reality, it’s just another way of concealing one of the subtlest form of idolatry — “gushing over the perfect love story.” But are we truly waiting on the One or just using it as an excuse to mask the true intentions of hearts?
I’ve seen a plethora of articles about waiting, and it concerns me that some of them point us to the art of pursuing God just so in the end we could get the happily-ever-after that we are “praying for.” And here’s the thing, sometimes, we use “godly” terms to make our own desires sound spiritual. We all have bragged about it — staying pure and waiting on God’s perfect time. But one question remains, are you still willing to stay pure and wait on God “EVEN IF HE DOES NOT?” What if you’ve been obedient and faithful your entire Christian life only for you to realize that ok it’s never gonna happen? That you’re gonna spend the remaining Christmases and holidays in your ancestral home at the mountain tops ALONE? Can you honestly say that you’re still willing to wait on Jesus?
Let me get this straight. I am not against marriage and godly relationships. I am a firm believer that marriage is the ultimate reflection of Christ’s love for the Church. It is sacred. Done deal. My point is, in this day and age, most of us have already created an idol out of the “best love story with the man/woman God has prepared for me.” Again, desiring a godly relationship and marriage is not wrong. But when we use “waiting on God” as a mask for the idolatry that we’ve built our lives on, that’s when we need to pause, consider and REPENT.
We all have this desire, of one day marrying the man/woman that we prayed for. But while that prayer isn’t answered yet or even if that prayer doesn’t get answered at all, I believe this is an opportunity for us to start praying more “honest prayers.” Those silent prayers that lie deep within the depths of our hearts. Let your heart speak to His heart. Tell Him how it gets lonely sometimes, and how hard it is to keep chasing after the Perfect Love in a world full of obsession and selfish desires. Use your words, let Him know. Let your loneliness draw you closer to the One who’s been longing for you for so long, to the One who loved you before you knew it was love. Because feeling lonely isn’t a call for jumping into a new relationship or another. It’s actually God’s way of telling us that, “Hey, I’m here. Just in case you forgot. I am here and I am eager to listen to the stories of your heart.”
I believe God wants us to know that while waiting, while we are genuinely waiting on Him, we are called to walk in His grace. Because waiting on Jesus is much more like walking in His grace in a world where waiting is considered wasting. To wait in grace and to trust with hope that He will fulfill every promise that He has made because God is not a liar rather He is a Promise-Keeper. But let us also pause and reflect on His goodness that EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, peace remains in our hearts — the peace of Jesus that transcends all understanding, His peace that overshadows everything else that is secondary, His peace that takes down anything that takes His place in our hearts. And the beauty of genuinely waiting is found in the process of revealing more of our character and focusing us not on the blessing but on our faithful Savior. Waiting is a place where we find total rest and joy. It is a place where grace meets us to the point of our need. That whatever we are praying for, whatever we are lacking, Jesus says I am and I will.